The 30-Second Fart, Part II: The Crisis of Identity

Last night somebody asked me if I really used to fart for 30 seconds after eating Soytaco.

Yes.

Yes, I did.

I mean, I never whipped out a stopwatch or anything, but they were pretty damn long faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrts, and for a rather long while after the tacos.

Unnatural food makes unnatural gas, as far as I can tell.

But, back to the reasons I started eating meat again. The first, mentioned yesterday, is that I didn't feel good. I was eating tons of processed crap and not feeding my body well.

And the truth is, I realized this a long time before I quit. At the grocery store, while loading up fake bacon, garden burgers, soy-this, and soy-that, I knew I was buying a bunch of garbage.

I knew it wasn't good for me.

I KNEW IT!

But I kept at it for years, not because I followed a vegan diet, but because I was a Vegan.

Did you catch the difference there?

It's a big one.

Huge, actually.

Following a vegan diet = way of eating.

Being a Vegan = way of being.

In other words, it's an identity.

And I was so wrapped up in it that I could no longer see or think clearly about my health.

And I wasn't just any Vegan, either.

I was THAT VEGAN with an air of superiority. I always had time to lecture my fellow humans on the merits of vegan living. As I reached for the "facon" at the grocery store, I looked down my nose at the folks buying bacon.

I was THAT VEGAN who insisted that all twenty of us had to eat at one of the only two restaurants in town that could serve food of which I approved.

I was THAT VEGAN who, no matter the topic of conversation, would find a way to interject the moral superiority that PETA bestowed upon me when I solemnly vowed never again to kill an animal.

Looking back, I was an asshole about it.

And although I could only see it with hindsight, the identity of being Vegan was always the most important thing. On the surface, I may have been doing it for reasons of health, ethics, or morality, but - deep down - it was more about "being Vegan" than anything else.

And that's why I say this reason - the realization that I'd been sucked into an identity - is more important than my health.

Because it's dangerous.

Look at the state of politics today, which is all about identity. We're either blue or we're red. Whichever one we are, we hate the other side and think whatever they do is wrong just because it's them doing it. And we're often willing to waiver in our principles or ignore our common ground to prevent the other side from getting anything they want, even when what they want would be good for us all.

But while identity-based politics is bad for the country, identity-based anything is terrible for the individual.

It puts blinders on us.

Just like when I was Vegan, and the vegan diet was not serving me, and I continued it for years simply because I was Vegan, dammit, and this is what Vegans do!

It was a trap, one I've fallen into time and again.

My college degree is in computer programming. I hated the work but did it for a decade because "I was a computer programmer."

In 1996, I voted for Bill Clinton for absolutely no other reason than "I was a Democrat."

During my first 15 years in real estate, I never bought any investment properties because "I was a Realtor," and therefore, not an investor.

I'm convinced that the identity-based way of living destroys as many dreams and wrecks as many futures as alcohol and drug addiction combined.

Relatively few of us are drug addicts or alcoholics.

But nearly all of us cling to an identity.

Even when it prevents us from achieving what we are capable of and becoming who we want to be.