The Voice In My Head

I don’t think I’m crazy.

But I do hear a voice in my head at times.

It creeps up and whispers to me.

“Hey! Just exactly who in the hell do you think you are, buddy?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Who the hell do you think you are? What’s wrong with you, anyway? You can’t do that!”

“Can’t do what?”

Then comes the list.

You can’t do that because. . .

You’re too OLD!

You’re not an ELITE ATHLETE!

You’re nothing but a REAL ESTATE AGENT!

You don’t have THAT DEGREE!

You’re never going to be THAT WEALTHY!

You’re not an EVENT COORDINATOR!

You’re not THAT COMMITTED!

You’re not a COMMUNITY ORGANIZER!

You’re NOT, you’re NOT, you’re NOT. . .

You’re NOTHING!

See, there’s a man who walks beside, and he’s who I used to be. He is the lesser-me. The timid, fearful, weaker version of myself.

He’s full of self-doubt, self-criticism, and self-loathing.

We’ve fought many times, he and I, and he used to kick my ass.

Not as much anymore, but even when I win, he’s still there.

Walking beside me, creeping up to whisper in my ear.

“You’re not. . .”

But you know what?

That guy isn’t me, and I don’t need to hear any of his lesser-me bullshit.

In fact, fuck that guy.

He can whisper all he wants.

But I’m done listening.