The Double Wide Workout

Tucked into the foothills of North Carolina, somewhere in Rutherford County, there is a double wide trailer. If you’ve ever been to Rutherford County this, of course, comes as no surprise because they are everywhere.

Which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with a double wide trailer and besides this isn’t about the trailer, it’s about what’s inside.

Not that I’ve ever seen it, mind you, but my Granny told me about it.

This happened a while back, maybe ten years ago, when she decided that she wanted to get in better shape. She’s always been active, so despite her age, it didn’t surprise me at all when she told me she’d joined a gym. She’s always been smart, too, so I was a little surprised when she told me about the equipment inside this “gym.”

When I was a kid, she used to take me to this place in the mall that had all sorts of equipment that women would lay on that was supposed to get them in shape.

Like big drums with rotating spindles that were supposed to beat the fat off.

And those infamous butt-shaker machines with the big vibrating strap that goes around your rear and shakes off your saddlebags.

Yeah, Granny did all that before back in the day, and when she found out it didn't do anything she signed up for aerobics classes, but that's a whole other story.

So picture any piece of gym equipment you’ve ever seen. Say the arm curl machine, for example. You know the one, right? You sit down, drop your arms over the pad, and do bicep curls.

Remember the last time you were on that machine? The first rep isn’t so bad, but after 10 or 12 it gets pretty tough.

Two or three sets later and you are grunting.

Sweat breaks out on your forehead.

Your biceps start burning.

It’s hard work, right?

Well, just imagine if that piece of equipment had a motor on it that lifted your arms for you! Instead of you pulling the weight up, it would push your arms up.

All you have to do is sit there and the machine does all the work for you.

Sounds absurd, right?

Well, that’s exactly what was in the double wide in the foothills of Rutherford County.

A bunch of machines where they would strap you in and the machine would move you around.

Granny was sold, at first, but it didn’t take her long to remember what she already knew, something she told me from the time I was born.

We can tell ourselves otherwise all we want, but the truth always comes out.

In this life, in the gym or elsewhere, there ain't no shortcuts.