Shiny Things

It's 4:37 A.M., and I can't post this yet.

Not to my blog.

Nor Facebook.

Nor my email list.

Because there is no WiFi here.

Wait, that's not right.

There IS WiFi - StarLink, supposedly.

But without the password, it doesn't do me a whole hell of a lot of good.

As we often do, Julia and I decided to spend the weekend in a house other than ours, and a cabin by a lake in the mountains seemed like just the place.

We've got a ton of work to do this weekend, and somewhere quiet with a nice crackling fire seemed better suited than our still-under-renovation house, where the trim carpenter is hanging doors in one room while the sheetrock crew runs screws in another.

It was after 10 when we arrived last night, and it took about half an hour to unload the groceries, books, computers, and firewood.

By then, it was way past my typical 8:30 or 9:00 bedtime.

I needed to hit the ground running the next day, so I started looking for the "house book" you normally find in an Airbnb. It'll have the check-out rules, local restaurant recommendations, area attractions, etc.

Crucially, it'll have the WiFi password.

But half an hour later, I was convinced this cabin didn't have one.

So we loaded up and drove ten minutes back towards town in search of a cell signal so I could check the AirBnb app.

And there it was.

Or at least it should have been, but instead was a message:

"We're excited to have gone paperless!! Be on the lookout for an email from us with the comprehensive house guide, including WiFi access!"

It seemed an awfully cherry announcement, especially from my vantage point on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere at damn near midnight.

I'm thinking, "WTF do I care if you've gone paperless?"

And then. . .wait a minute. . .does that email come AFTER I check in?

Are they telling me that, after I check in at the house, I need to get on the internet to get the WiFi password so that I can get on the internet?

I called the main number - no answer.

I sent a message via the app and waited 15 minutes, but there was no response.

Eventually, we gave up and headed back.

On the way, we talked about an IV clinic we'd visited on a recent trip to Arizona. Aside from IVs, they had all sorts of fancy equipment.

Hyperbaric-this and transfusion-that; all words I didn't recognize.

We asked what it did.

"Umm, we're not sure, but it's the latest and greatest thing, so the owners bought it."

Yes, that was the actual answer from the person sticking a needle in my arm.

It reminded me of all the shiny things that get peddled in the real estate business, for which Realtors are often suckers. 3D photography, meaningless certifications, grocery cart advertising, and the other useless crap that sounds good on paper but adds very little, if anything, to the customer experience.

"Paperless" was this property manager's latest shiny object.

But in implementing it, they lost track of the business's core purpose: to make customers happy so they come back again and again.

My advice?

Ignore the shiny objects - leave those as distractions for your competitors.

Focus on the customer experience instead, and keep it simple!

So, for aspiring Airbnb hosts or property managers, here's the hot tip: Write the WiFi password on paper.

Put the paper in a nice frame.

And nail the damn thing to the wall.