Offended? I Don't Care.

In business, I have a guiding principle.

If I can offend you, we're not working together.

Because being offended is bullshit.

And it's running rampant.

We have become the United States of The Offended.

This morning, on an email list I subscribe to, I read this:

"Fuck Poodles."

"Poodles SUCK!"

"Btw - I HATE CATS, ALSO!"

"If you own a poodle or a cat, you can get the fuck off my list!!!"

My cat, Mr. Charlie, was sitting on my lap as I read.

I chuckled.

Patted Mr. Charlie on the head and told him everything would be OK.

And then I had an "oh shit" moment.

Poodles can be super cool dogs. Properly trained, they are badass hunters.

They can point.

They can flush.

They can retrieve.

Noblemen used them back in medieval times to flush game for trained falcons!

And they don't have to have those stupid haircuts and bows and all that shit.

Like, you can give them a regular haircut.

Now, the guy that wrote the email, I'm betting he doesn't know this. When he thinks of a poodle, he probably thinks of one of those little teacup jobs that women carry around in a purse (for the record, those are stupid).

Not the super-athletic standard poodle with a 5' vertical leap that can run a marathon in the morning, take a quick nap, and then hunt pheasants all afternoon.

Not that I care. I couldn't care less what he thinks about my cat.

Or my border collie - he probably hates those, too.

But - and this was my "oh shit" moment - somebody does care.

There are thousands of people on his list.

It's a great list.

I've been on it for years, and learned a lot.

But some guy, somewhere, with a cat on his lap and a poodle at his feet is all up in arms this morning.

"Fuck this guy!"

UNSUBSCRIBE!

Later, when his wife gets up, he'll say, "OMG! Can you believe what he said about OUR DOG???"

"Of course, I unsubscribed from his list. HE"S AN IDIOT!"

And he probably didn't simply block the address or hit the unsubscribe button.

More likely, he responded with a rant about how great his Pookie Poodle is, how she's a family member and a demand to be personally removed from the list.

This man's whole day is wrecked because somebody on the other end of an email doesn't like his cat or poodle.

This might sound like hyperbole, but this crap happens all the time.

People get offended over the dumbest shit.

This gets back to my point—my guiding principle. If someone gets offended by tiny little things like somebody not liking their pet, how will they handle actual criticism of something that matters?

Very poorly, in my experience.

Which is why, when I'm hiring or looking for a partner, those who are easily offended need not apply.